


Nucl3arSnake VS Lov3rBoy

by Samuuraijack



Category: Deus Ex (Video Games), Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Genre: Adam Jensen is a perfect human being, And he never asked for this, Coffee as an answer to lack of social skills, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Warning: Frank Pritchard, not that slow burn, office awkward romance, transgender character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-22 01:36:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 7,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14297904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samuuraijack/pseuds/Samuuraijack
Summary: Julian comes back to SI after a year leave. It's hard being under everyone's scrutiny, especially the one of a suspicious chief of cyber security. How much coffee offerings will be necessary to go from enemy to snake tamer? Maybe this is not the office romance Pritchard wants but this is the one he deserves.





	1. In which Adam Jensen has good social skills. Not that it is a surprise but still.

**Author's Note:**

> This story follows the plot of Human Revolution, Black Light and Mankind Divided. It's mostly written and will be posted regularly. Enjoy!

Come on Julian, you can do it. It's just a first contact to make your return to work easier. You prepared for this for a year. Just in and out. Meet the head of security. Greet the boss. Change clearance levels with chief of cyber-security. Keep head down, exit building and come back home. Could be like a spy mission.

  
The building's entrance of Sarif Industries headquarters is huge. Bigger than what he remembers. He greets quietly the receptionist and she sends him to Adam Jensen's office on the third floor. Thankfully she didn't recognized him. Well, he's pretty different anyway and it's not like he was a social butterfly before his one year leave of absence. Maybe nobody will recognize him. Hopefully the ones who do will be discreet.

  
He fixed the date with the chief of security after Sarif insisted that Julian couldn't continue to work from home and it was time to come back to the headquarters. He remembers the layout of the offices fairly well so he hurries down the hallways, keeping a low profile. He didn't talked with Adam Jensen in person when he was working there so it's a first meeting and he hopes that the man is not a dick and all will go well.

  
\- Come in!

  
\- Mr. Jensen, I'm Julian Bells. Mr. Sarif wanted me to update my file and my security pass with you?

  
\- Alright. With me? Why not with Cindy at the reception desk?

  
\- It's… Complicated. I changed my name... And Sarif wanted it to be done discreetly.

  
\- OK, one sec, I'll get your file. What was your name before?

  
\- Same last name. Bells, Julia Bells.

  
He can hear his deafening heartbeat and feel his inflamed cheeks, waiting for a comment, an inquisitive look, something intrusive. But Jensen turns fully on his computer and searches for his file. No comment. No look. It's like he didn't heard his name. Maybe he didn't?? Julian feels like hiding behind the desk, waiting for his heart to stop beating so loud.

  
\- So your new name is?

  
\- Julian, just… Hem, small change.

  
\- Done. What else?

  
\- Could you, hum… Change my gender assigned to male please? And update my picture?

  
\- If you have some changes on your medical file, a doctor can update it directly and it's encrypted. And you can ask Cindy to print your new security pass before you leave the building, it's gonna have the right info.

  
The right info. Sounds good. It's like Julian can suddenly remember how to breathe. And look at the head of security. He's gonna keep an eye on that one. He's intimidating with all the muscles and the serious eyes and the tall body but he makes Julian definitely feel better about his day than before. Looks like first part of his “spy mission” is done.


	2. In which Frank Pritchard is a prick. What’s new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Asshole Pritchard.

Sarif was his usual self. Both a great man and a hard boss to please. Without him, and his support and understanding, Julian doesn't know where he would be now. So the man deserves his loyalty and his best work even when a few character flaws make an appearance. Like when the stubborn man required from him to come back working in the office and wouldn't listen when he answered that he wasn't ready. So here he is, trying his best not to panic and listen to David wax poetic about the latest design of his exoskeleton for the military. At the end of their meeting, the real reason for his return becomes clear when Sarif tells him about cyber-attacks against SI and that Pritchard, the head of cyber security, is adamant about not letting people take files away from the secured intranet. And that he wants to "chew him out in person for being away so long and putting everyone in danger". His words. That bodes well for his last meeting of the day. Sarif waves him goodbye distractedly, with the hand not playing with the baseball on his desk. It feels like the man sends him to his doom.

  
Julian shuffles slowly to the wolf's den, dreading the confrontation. If it's still his spy mission game, Pritchard is this level's boss.

  
\- Finally, what took you so long? Never mind.

  
This is it. The last man Julian wants to see on this hard day. He takes a fleeting look behind his bangs at the head of cyber security. Pritchard is tall and angular. Hard lines around his mouth and tired eyes and smooth ponytail. And he's looking like he swallowed sour candy.

  
-Hum... Sorry. Why did you want to see me?

  
-I need to instill the fear of my wrath in you for when you will think about taking your files and work from home! It's been MONTHS since I told Sarif about the risks you were posing with all those coming and going trails of modified documents. I know your artsy, "Rules are for other people" type. I can feel you're gonna be a pain in my ass when I look at you. So NO TAKING FILES. EVER. And I really hope you read my last company set of security measures because I don't like to repeat myself. Why were you gone anyway? You look like you can come to work like all the other employees!

  
\- That's... That's none of your business.

  
Anger is rising in his throat, making his pitch higher than he wants to be after the hard work to lower his voice. He wants to give a big "Fuck you" to the man but that's not the great start he wants for his return. And he sadly got experience dealing with assholes.

  
Pritchard freezes when the words reach him. He gives him another once-over with cold eyes, not embarrassed by his bad manners.

  
-It IS my business. I had to write sub-routines for all your encrypted files. YOU are responsible for half of the last security measures I had to enforce. MY time could be better used trying to stop those Purity First wannabe hackers for messing with us. So, when you, Princess, feels like staying in bed instead of coming to work from here like us mortals, remember that you're not royalty or I will mess up your life so bad you're gonna come to me crying and begging to be able to work from your office like normal people.

  
Princess. Like normal people. Julian flinches, recoiling like he's been slapped. That guy is hitting where it hurts. The champion of douchebags. His cheeks are certainly red like he's taken the blows. He doesn't even know how to respond to that. Most of all, this prick makes him feel so guilty for those privileges he enjoyed for a year. And like a shark sensing blood in water, Pritchard is looking at him so suspiciously, searching for the gaps in his firewall, hacker-like.

  
-Let...

  
His voice is shaking. Don't crack now, so close to the end.

  
-Let me know if you have more security measures you would like me to apply. If that is all, goodbye.

  
And he's gone like the wind to escape those infuriating eyes.


	3. In which Adam Jensen is still good at people skills but bad at Pritchard’s.

When Adam comes to work in the morning, Pritchard is lurking in the hallway near his office. It’s disturbing and not a good sign at all. Adam opens the door of his office to let the angry looking man in. Better to deal with it fast and rip the band aid in one go.

-Francis! What gives me the pleasure of your delightful company this early in the day? 

-No need for your sarcasm this early either, Jensen. I come to you with security threats. I need you to check on someone suspicious I met yesterday.

-A coworker or a client?

-Coworker, you met him actually. Bells, the designer that finally came to work two days after that last attack on our website.

-You mean the shy little one you yelled at. Walls are thin and people are talking, Pritchard, you need to be a little bit nicer or it’s gonna reach Sarif’s ears and he won’t be pleased.

-Well, Sarif apparently told you to deal with him in person so I want to know if this man is gonna be a problem.

-I’m going to ignore HOW you know what Sarif told me and just ask you to let me do my job.

-I’m telling you, as a concerned employee of SI and as the head of cyber-security that this Bells has something to hide. You need to check his background or something. And if you don’t, I will. And when I’ll find that we’ve been infiltrated by a rival company, a journalist or those purist assholes, I will ask for your resignation.

-And I’m telling YOU Pritchard to Let. It. Go. I met the man. I read his file. He’s clean as a whistle and you’re paranoid. That’s the whole truth so stop digging.

Except he can read the face in front of him and Pritchard is like a dog with a bone. He’s not letting it go.

-Tell you what, I’ll check his finances for any suspicious activity IF you promise me to let me work on this and go back to your own office and NOT hack into his privacy! Do I need to remind you who’s the criminal here?

Pritchard exits his office exactly like he entered, except more crazy eyed and practically foaming at the mouth. Oh, man, this feels like a train wreck happening.


	4. In which there is a bathroom incident. Sounds bad, prepare yourself.

A week later, Frank is still not convinced about that innocent face that Bells is putting. The man made himself scarce every time they met in communal areas. But whatever, he got work to do. And he feels so much better since he found the breach used by the hackers on their last attack against the SI network. The last two hours were employed to patch the firewall and Frank could use a much needed break. And a snack.

When he reaches on his desk to where he left his last cyberboost energy bar, he doesn’t find anything. Maybe he ate it? Or maybe that rat from accounting that came earlier took it? Seriously, people are the worst. OK, don’t let it ruin the mood. Time for a trip to the vending machine.

When he ventures outside his office, he hears a woman yelling down the hallway, attracting attention from the offices nearby.

-I will not let it go! I’ll call security if I have to! I can’t believe that harassment in the workplace still exists for women after all this time.

When Frank reaches the crime scene, he sees a tall woman in high heels looming over the little shit that can’t seem to avoid being responsible for bad workplace situations. She’s angry red, still going on about calling the wrath of Khan on the other red one, cowering next to her. The noise is attracting interest and there is soon a gaggle of passersby, hungry for a good scandal to break routine. There is the question of what happened floating around over the crowd and the woman is more than happy to restart her rant at the beginning.

-That man entered the woman’s bathroom! And he was just there when I left my stall! Like he belonged. Not an apology, nothing! I had to tell him to go away or he was staying there to creep on every poor woman going to the bathroom. That’s not acceptable!

Frank snickers discreetly at the embarrassing situation. What a moron. Looks like he made a mistake he’s gonna remember for the rest of his life.

-Did somebody call security? Or maybe the police can deal with it? 

Wow, the situation is turning quite dark. When Frank looks at Bells, he’s frozen in place, not just humiliation but naked fear in his eyes. Where is the defiant man he met the first time who told him to mind his business? And there’s an angry mob around them that feels like a high school bashing all over again. When he looks down the hall, he sees Jensen coming and making way through the growing crowd and it’s probably the first time he’s happy to see the chief of security.

-What’s going on?

And the woman is yapping again but Jensen is already looking around, assessing the situation and using his bearlike manners on crowd control. In times like this, he can admit the ex-SWAT’s experience comes in handy. On the other end, Bells looks like a strong wind could make him keel over. And Frank doesn’t know what possess him but when the chief of security meets his eyes; he takes a strong step forward and puts himself near Bells.

-Jensen! I have a meeting scheduled to go over last changes about his design software so I need to borrow this one.

He barely waits for Jensen’s approval and he’s moving away towards his office.

-Bells! With me!

The bark makes the man flinch and he’s looking around like he just woke up from a nightmare. In a matter of seconds, he’s focusing on him and hurrying after his retreating back. He can hear Jensen telling people to go back to work and taking the woman with him to his office for her statement, asking her to calm down. Good riddance.

When he’s back in his office, he doesn’t quite know what to do. That was totally an impulse decision. The man behind him is still silent. Shell shocked even. Shivering and blotchy. That’s quite disgusting so he doesn’t feel like dealing with this right now. He sits down and goes back to work, ignoring the messed up breathing behind his back. When he emerges from his blurry lines of code an hour later, Bells has taken possession of his tablet and he’s reading peacefully, leaning on the corner of his desk. He looks up when he feels eyes on him. They’re just assessing each other in silence. Then Bells nods at him, puts back the tablet and exits quietly his office.

Feels like a truce has been called.


	5. In which Pritchard is a decent human being. Admit there was a small doubt.

That night, Frank powers up his untraceable computer and hovers over his keyboard for an hour, waiting to make a decision about Bells. The guy is still suspicious. He could do a quick background check to ease up this gut feeling and be done with it. Go to Sarif a hero if it turns out the designer is a mole and finally make him see that Jensen is not what SI needs to be safe.

Or he could wait a little more. See if there is more to confirm his hunch. Still keep an eye on him like he already takes one on all the employees. Sometimes, Frank feels like humanity can’t seem to hit rock bottom and he still discovers horrible details about the so called educated and smart people he’s surrounded with. An infuriating part of his job is tracking viruses and worms in the network due to the activities of his stupid coworkers and he has to comb through the web history of all employees dumb enough to go web surfing for private matters on company property. And he sees the worst of people: the racist one who searches and finds sites about links between Blacks and monkeys. The one who’s watching rape porn at work (This one had his web history mysteriously sent to HR, let them do their job and fire him) and he’s monitoring closely the one who’s downloading videos of dismembered animals. Knowing the dark side of his coworkers always felt like a double-edge sword.

He already scanned Bells’s computer and was kinda relieved when he didn’t found anything. Truth is he doesn’t wish to find dirt on the guy anymore.

He powers down his computer and goes to bed.


	6. In which revelations come to light and Pritchard feels bad about himself. For once.

Of course, people are talking about the _bathroom incident_ the day after. Does anybody work besides him in this company? Frank makes a beeline for his office and avoids all conversations. And his mood keeps going down when he sees Jensen waiting near his door. He’s hovering, greeting him curtly and following him inside.

-What a pleasure, Jensen! Of what could I be of service?

-Cut it! I’m here as a favor to you so hear me out.

The man is terse and grim looking. Frank keeps his tongue in check for the time being but he can feel his hackles rising at the tone. That man is insufferable.

-There was a meeting yesterday with Sarif, Bells and I about the incident. For his safety and to avoid another mess like this one, he authorized us to tell the nosy people about him. And since I know you got a bad case of foot in the mouth and you are already sniffing around him, I came to you first thing to stop your nonsense. He’s a transgender man, Frank, that’s why he didn’t want you to look up his past. For the rest, you can ask him yourself if he still wants to talk to you but I suggest you leave him alone. So let’s forget about our conversation and go back to work.

Like that, Jensen is gone and Frank is stunned in the middle of his office. This day really feels shitty now.


	7. In which there is something in the water. Not literally but better check because this shit is weird.

People knowing is like better and worse than he thought. It’s been a week and Julian feels eyes on him all the time. Everywhere. Disapproving, intrigued or pitying eyes. Or imaginary because the stress is making him paranoid. And since avoidance _worked so well_ for him, he’s just trying to fusion himself with the walls and not looking everyone in the eyes.

And it’s such a shame that his return was that horrifying mess since the beginning because he feels better being around people. That last year, he felt so alone and inadequate, fighting against his body and his mind, exhilarated and terrified about the changes. In the meeting with Sarif and Jensen after the bathroom disaster, they were so understanding, searching solutions for him to be more welcomed. Sarif told him that his return also had to do with threats against SI and he was worried about his employees. Julian felt bad and so self-centered when people around him were trying to accommodate him.

He doesn’t know how to feel about Pritchard. The man was his worst nightmare on their first meeting and then he lied for him to save his ass a week later. What is he thinking? Does he know about him now? Of course, he knows. It’s not like anyone can escape that level of gossip. Thankfully, the shushing and fumbling that follows him everywhere is dying down. The big hearing in Washington is in a month now and the workload has increased tenfold so folks will complain about this and forget about him soon enough.

He’s near the cafeteria, pouring a glass of water from the fountain when he feels a presence behind him. He turns around and gets himself toes to toes with Pritchard, the intriguing one. And it’s getting weirder when the man keeps looking at him, clears his throat, hums, can’t quite decide what to do with his hands then FACEPALMS, groans, mutters a “Hello” between his fingers and turns back, powerwalking outta here.

What. The. F. That was both mortifying and hilarious! Julian pours the rest of his water suspiciously down the sink and goes back to his office with more questions about the man than ever.


	8. In which the Talk happens. Starring Julian as a little shit and Pritchard as himself.

 

-We need to talk.

Julian can’t take it anymore. Pritchard is creepier than ever. Follows him sometimes, and two times now, tried to say something but failed and fled from the scene, tail between his legs. That man is a disaster. People slowly stopped paying attention to him but Pritchard, never behaving like a normal human being, seems to be increasingly rude. Is there a limit to his asshole attitude? Anyway, Julian has enough and he’s not leaving the tech lab until they clear the air.

Pritchard is giving him a hard look.

-I don’t have time for this now.

And turning his back. OK, it’s gonna be hostile territory from the start.

-You’ll make time. Or do you want to follow me some more in hallways like a beheaded chicken?

Wow, the prick turned purple.

-Well, someone needs to stop you from entering the wrong bathrooms!

Ouch! His snark levels are through the roof! Julian needs to stop this because this road isn’t going anywhere. He’s clearly not as good as Pritchard at this nasty venom battle. Time to try something different. “The Power of Love” maybe? Humming under his breath, he tries to evacuate the bad vibes and make his expression friendlier.

-Alright, we don’t need to make each other’s work life miserable. And I remembered that we never even been introduced. I’m Julian Bells, nice to meet you.

Pritchard is looking at him like he’s growing a second head now. And not convinced. Crap!

-In the late week, it looked like you wanted to tell me something? Maybe?

-No.

Pritchard is pouting now. Like this, Julian can’t remember that he used to be afraid of him. He makes himself comfortable against a bookshelf.

-‘T’s alright. I got time.

Julian sends him a smile and Pritchard’s expression wavers then comes back with a scowl.

-Told you I don’t have time for this now. What are you doing? Trying to seduce me into compliance?

-Is it working?

Pritchard freezes. Clearly uncomfortable. Did he pushed too much and the man has homophobic tendencies on top of everything? But the man chokes a little, like he’s rusty at being anything other than aggressive and then inclines his head, smirk in place.

-You’re gonna have to do better.

Julian smiles fully, relieved. Then Pritchard turns serious and takes a long breath.

-What I wanted to say. This week. The angry mob trying to lynch you. That was not right. Don’t let people put labels on you for their sake. Fuck them alright? If you let them, they’ll make you disappear.

Julian feels his smile faltering. Humor gone. He’s not ready for that kind of talk. He shifts his weight more fully on the bookshelf, giving himself time to respond.

-And here I thought you wanted to apologize for your behavior when we first met? With the princess talk?  

-No way, you can take it.

-So what, we’re on friendly terms now?

-I can’t promise anything. You’re still a pain in my ass with your atrocious files and all those secured proxies and new software just for you. You really are a princess.

-Oh, you love me already! My heart can’t take that much love.

-Go away now, back to work.

There is something bordering on a smile on Pritchard’s face. Tastes like victory.


	9. In which there is lots of love. For caffeine and chocolate.

It's like some invisible line has been crossed. Julian doesn't know why but he wants to push and push to have what he wants: That “thing” he shared with the grumpy chief of cyber-security.

  
And he doesn't really _connect_ with other people at Sarif Industries. Scientists are a close community that stays with itself. People in finances and accounting are dull and not that friendly. Especially the “bathroom incident” woman who tries to kill him with her eyes every time they cross paths. He saw a fresh faced happy pilot in a kickass uniform in the fitness center but didn't dare talk to her. And Adam Jensen nods to him when they see each other but it ends here.

  
Anyway, it's not like he needs to make friends. But that link is established with the bad-tempered hacker, like it or not. They share history now. So better make use of it.

  
-I have coffee.

  
Pritchard is surprised. Hard to say if it's bad surprised or 'happy to see him' surprised. Julian doesn’t let it stop him.

  
-I got yours as black as your soul. No need to thank me.

  
-Good, since I never asked for this.

  
-Where do I put it?

  
-Nowhere! You're gonna ruin some equipment with your clumsiness. Give it to me!

  
-Hey, I'm not clumsy. I can draw a perfectly straight line for miles!

  
But Pritchard is staring at his offering like a starved man, not listening anymore so he transfers carefully the cup to his hands. Looks like his plan to distract the man with coffee worked a little too much and he isn't paying him any attention now. Perfect time to explore the office discreetly.

  
-Don't TOUCH anything!

  
Julian shrugs and continues to slowly make the tour of the tech lab.

  
-I'm much more of a fan of the previous Final Fantasy than the 27.

  
-Of course you are, you hellion.

  
Julian waits for more but Pritchard falls silent. He tries another one.

  
-Is it your ride?

  
-It is…

  
Silence again.

  
-Do you want me to go?

  
-...No.

  
-Really, I can go. I'll see you later.

  
Julian didn't thought I would be this hard to have a friendly conversation but as always Pritchard defies expectations. But before he can reach the door, a hand grasps at his elbow, just pressing lightly and letting him go.

  
-Bells, wait!

  
-What?

  
-Thanks. For the coffee.

  
-Anytime!

  
When Julian opens his office the morning after, there's a MontyBites chocolate bar near his keyboard on the desk. He smiles.


	10. In which all hell break loose

When the alarm blares and then is silenced, Julian saves his work and looks at his glass wall to see if other people are worried. He doesn't see anyone so he tries to call Cindy at reception. When he just gets static, he feels his anxiety rising. He exits his office, walking hastily to the elevators to go at the reception desk in person. His coworkers are in their offices but some of them are looking worriedly around and a few follows him to the elevator. He doesn't have to wait long. The doors open and Pritchard jumps through looking scared and running at full speed towards his office. Not thinking twice, Julian runs after him.

When Pritchard arrives at his desk he starts typing aggressively.

-Something is not right! I lost communications with Jensen and all cameras are down.

-What is it? A malfunction in the lab? 

-I don't think so. In Athene's office, I activated the GPL to locate some of the scientists and it's like they're running away from something moving? That and the coms… Feels bad. DAMN IT! I CAN'T access anything! FUCK!

Pritchard stops typing for a sec and looks at him, like he just noticed who is with him.

-What are you doing here?

Julian shrugs.

-I followed you?

Pritchard scowls at him and turns back to his keyboard.

-Alright, time to use the back door.

Pritchard is now typing furiously and lines and lines of codes scroll down on the monitors. Then the surveillance cameras appear.

-They're glitchy and there's no sound. But better than nothing.

There's smoke and the lights are blinking. And then they see the first body, broken. Then there's like a flip has been switched. Hell everywhere. They watch in horrified silence the utter chaos of the ruined equipment and the white lab coats soaked red.

-Right here! Someone's moving!

-It's the team of lab 23. Looks like they're trapped on this level!

Pritchard is typing again.

-If I can access the security of this door maybe they can escape or try to hide. We still don't know what attacked them.

They got their answer a minute later when masked men with semi-automatics start shooting at the defenseless scientists. Julian’s breath hitch like his lungs can't find air. Pritchard bares his teeth and snarls at his screen.

He starts searching frantically for survivors, swiping through the live feeds.

-Here! It's Jensen! 

The chief of security is armed and moving swiftly, hiding at corners and shooting at the assailants. 

-I need to contact him! We can help! We can give him the position of the attackers. And the people still here! 

Pritchard is still trying desperately to clear the blocked signal. Julian can't detach his eyes of Jensen's form moving from lab to lab without a single person around him alive. He sees the blonde hair of Doctor Reed for a fraction of seconds and

-FRANK!

Julian closes his eyes and grips Frank's shoulder. He must hurt him with this vice-like hand but he can't, he can't

The typing stopped. 

After a while, Julian can't know how much time exactly, he feels Pritchard take the hand on his shoulder and guide him on a chair nearby.

-They left. I need to go see Sarif. And the 911 responders. Stay here, I'll come back.

Julian is left alone. Empty.


	11. In which picking yourself up is hard and it's easier to lean against someone

The aftermath is a numb faceless void. Julian goes through the motions, not feeling anything but his nights are plagued with nightmares. At first, SI is closed so he's at home, nervous and restless. Then after a week of emptiness, he comes back to work at the _crime scene_. All his coworkers are zombie-like, some with puffy eyes and traveling in groups, like they're anxious not to be caught alone in a corner. Julian tries to go see Pritchard with a cup from the nearest coffee shop but the man barely acknowledges him when he puts it on his desk. Julian sees the wrinkled skin around his eyes, red and sinking under his brows. The ponytail is less neat, with greasy hair, the thin lips are dried and bitten red. Maybe he's projecting a little but Pritchard looks so tired and _mournful_. He doesn't insist when the man continues to type endlessly and exits quietly the tech lab.

When the day ends, he feels bereft and he just doesn't want to go home and be alone again. The SI headquarters are almost empty and the lights are dim, the hall beneath him is dark without the flashy projections of Sarif and his vision for the future of humanity. When he sees the orange glow of the monitors in Pritchard's lab, he hesitates. His vague sense of queasiness makes him knock. He goes inside without waiting for an answer, suddenly afraid that he's gonna be ignored again. Fran...Pritchard is here, looking at him with red-rimmed eyes from too much screen time. He rubs his forehead likely to wash the headache away, groaning softly. Julian approaches him slowly, silent, waiting. Frank searches his eyes again.

-I wanted to go over all the data we saw, to identify someone, something... All was wiped cleaned; Homeland Security took the rest and restricted access. I got nothing. Plenty of dead and nothing else.

He looks so defeated. Unable to stop himself.

-Jensen is in the hospital. I should...I wanted... I was useless.

It's like he's forgotten how to summon his usual wall of aloofness. All venom gone and just a man full of guilt for a thing that was out of his control. Julian feels his heart soar for this softer version, with the doubt and the aura of sadness. There is a companionship of sorts, with this death strike that they watched together and they arrived on the other side full of new wounds. Julian puts his hand on the fragile looking wrist on the desk like to cover a painful blow.

-What do you do when you need to clear your head?

Frank's eyes light up a little.

-I take my motorcycle for a ride. The night, the wind, the speed. Makes me feel... I don't know, whole again.

He looks embarrassed like he just revealed an awful character flaw, like being human. And then he gives a tired smile.

-Wanna come?

-Where?

-Nowhere, out. I got another helmet somewhere.

Just like that, Frank is moving, finding the helmet and taking his arm again like he doesn't want to lose their connection.

Julian lets himself be guided to the elevator and then in the parking lot to the black sleek jewel of technology. He doesn't know the first thing about motorcycles but it's got beautiful lines of coiled power like a snake poised to strike. He slowly guide his hand to the flank of the beast, feeling the cold metal. He looks at Frank and nods, smiling.

Frank loosens his ponytail and puts his helmet on then sits on his ride, waiting. Julian puts on his own and gets his leg awkwardly on the other side. They're so close like that. The expanse of Frank's back before him, inviting. Frank makes the engine roar to life and Julian's arms circle the man's sides securing himself, a little scared, a lot thrilled.

They lose themselves in the night.


	12. In which it's fire ignited against melting ice

Julian knows the ride let some things transpired. Something muddy and syrupy sweet like molasses. He remembers the warm leather covered back he pressed himself against and feels his cheeks flushing at the memory. He recognizes the feeling because of course, of course the zing of attraction ran through his veins yesterday, going at the speed of light, placated by the wind. He forgot all, just living the moment, free from his mind and his body.

  
But harsh light of the day, hard reality, yadda yadda… A sense of dread replaced the peaceful moment of his night. He's an idiot. It's been so long since he was interested in someone. He's not ready. He works here with him and the man is a dick. Hum. He flushes again. That man is a moody son of a bitch. And he's not interested. Julian was there at a time of weakness and it's not going to happen again. Whatever, that was a wonderful experience and he's not gonna let himself down. Fleeting moments of joy need to be cherished.

  
He tries to get himself immersed in his work but he's antsy now. Full of questions and he needs to get this under control or he's gonna spontaneously combust the next time he sees the cyber security chief. Maybe he's interested? And yesterday wasn't a fluke but an opening? Utterly confused, Julian packs for his day and powers down his computer. He's gonna work from home. If the bad tempered Cerberus is not happy, he'll come yell at him some more tomorrow! He can't believe he's gleeful about it. You got it bad Julian, go home!

 

*****

 

Frank lets his head hit the desk for the fifth time of the day. He keeps reading the same article on super electric magnetic fields and he doesn't remember the first line of it. He groans and closes his eyes for a minute. He can't let go of the ghost feeling of warmth against his back. It made him feel invincible. He loved it. He always liked riding alone in the city, all thoughts forgotten above the black asphalt against his wheels. The shiver of the engine. He never took anyone with him before. But he feels like all of this is ruined by what he experienced with Bells. Julian. Bells. Maybe anyone could make him feel this way? No, the man is just always on his mind recently, don't kid yourself. Feeling him, first hesitant and anxious, back rigid and arms tightening and then after a while he just _melted_ against him. His tights pressed against his own, slightly trembling. It's the most human contact Frank felt since forever. When was the last time he got laid? When was the last time he felt on fire like this? After letting Bells go on his block's building, he came home, closed the door, took off his jacket and shoes in the hallway, rushed through the rest of his clothes, fell on his bed and…

Fuck, he's at work. He never behaved this unprofessionally. Maybe he should give up and go home. Decision taken, he stands and packs his things. He just can't think today, wandering miles away, riding his high.


	13. In which Julian feels like he’s in the army. Hurry up and wait.

It’s been two months. TWO MONTHS.

Alright, Julian doesn’t feel like that much time has come and gone. But the tension between Frank and him is unbearable. He tries to act normally, unaffected but he’s so self-conscious of everything he does and says. It’s like he goes into battle mode, high heart rate and slow bullet time and all, every time he’s in the same room as Pritchard. Sarif looked at him funny when he _vibrated_ for the entire meeting with them to go once more over what they saw on camera the day of the attack.

And Pritchard doesn’t seem unaffected either! He’s calm and collected -All that things that Julian is not on a normal day so it’s not like other people can see a difference- But now that he looks for it, Julian sees the man’s interest. It’s in parting glances and movements aborted. In sentences that are clipped for anyone else but him. In chocolate bars offerings but no note like a secret admirer. It’s in the time that Pritchard takes from his work to inhale his coffee in his company when Julian didn’t saw him take a break before.

Julian wants to make a move. Something small that could put them on tracks for more. But every time he musters all his courage to ask the man out he cowers back in his shell, afraid not only of a rejection but to lose every small step of friendship that he made with Frank. He hates feeling like that. Indecisive. Afraid. Weak. He tells himself he’s waiting for the right opportunity. As if.

 

 *****

 

Frank is waiting. He doesn’t really know for what but anticipation is building, like a wave growing and growing before crashing on the shore. That ‘thing’ with Bells is always here. A small warmth inside that feels sometime like a muscle being soothed, sometime like stomach burn. It’s not his first infatuation. Before Reed and Jensen’s relationship crashed and burned -he tries not to remember the real crash of these last months: Megan Reed dead, Adam Jensen used by Sarif as a test subject and brought back to life-, he used to be jealous of them. He never identified if he was envious of Jensen or Reed or their relationship, but they looked like the perfect couple. Not perfect like magazine perfect; but more like finding someone you can take for a ride that never ends.

Before that truth about himself discovered, he always thought that he was better alone. People are a disappointment, always. The few encounters he had, with men and women, were just a mean to an end, attraction but not more than that. Nobody that could be his equal. Realizing that he still wants to seek his someone; interesting, worthy, in this muddy sea of boring, ugly humanity is like a failure of his mind. A weakness in his programming that he can’t quite patch good enough.

And entered the intriguing Bells, that assaulted his senses, making him take impulsive choices and that his mind can’t process. Because there is something, but is it the Megan&Jensen one or does he need to put the brakes on this? So he waits, because that’s what he does best. Lying in shadows, waiting for the next move. Never showing his hand. When he’ll find the right answer to that Bells problem, he’ll act accordingly.


	14. In which nobody wins.

-Frank? You have a minute?

Bells is in the parking lot near his motorcycle. Frank is tired and ready to go home.

-What?

-…

The man seems a little lost and fidgeting like always.

-What, Bells? Out with it!

-Sorry, I… There’s a convention this week about the rehabilitation of game centers in Detroit, they have a lot of arcade games in…

-Yes, I know, what about it?

-I wondered… You. Me. This weekend, game session, I can totally take you on vintage Street Fighter! Wanna come to the con?

-I can’t. Or rather I won’t! There’s gonna be children and noisy bad mannered people and no. Just No.

-Oh. Alright. Never mind.

Bells puts a brave face but something is off. Frank replays their conversation in his mind. Did he offended the guy somewhere? He’s his usual abrasive self and Julian seemed accommodating well enough recently?

-So, see ya!

And without waiting for a reply, the little one takes off, towards the tram station. Frank feels lost. Like he missed something. Then it hits him; that was the move he waited for. The step forward. And he blew it without thinking twice. Nice work, Pritchard! Time to suck it up! He’s so done with himself. Waiting isn’t working anymore. He needs to think about what he wants or he’s gonna lose it all.


	15. In which a coffee date is mentioned. Coffee is the answer to everything.

-Wanna have coffee? With me. Sometimes.

Julian is stunned near his desk. Frank is waiting for an answer behind him, a little red on his cheeks but otherwise inexpressive.

-Hum…Yes?

Of course he’s gonna say yes! After that fiasco with his own asking out, Julian tried to be satisfied by what they have and not that disappointed. But…

-Wait! Are you… Well, is it coffee coffee? Or like a coffee date? Or like a coffee date between friends? Or like friends that are having coffee to see if there could be more than coffee between them?

-You’re so weird, Bells. It’s a date. I’m asking you out.

-Wow, really? Ok. I mean, let’s go on a date. What brought this on? You were…

-I know… Sorry.

Frank is reddening but he’s got a small secret smile that Julian can’t seem to keep his eyes off. His own is splitting his face.

-You’re apologizing. Beware! Hell is gonna freeze.

Frank grunts and turns over, ready to go back to his man cave.

-Wait! When is it? Our date. When you sweep me off my feet.

The words ‘Our date’ feel like candy in his mouth, he can’t stop smiling.

-Tomorrow after work, the coffee shop near here? With the red logo?

-Nice! Can’t wait.

-And Julian?

-Yes?

-I expect to be swept of my feet too. Bring your A game!

Frank leaves his office. Julian does a victory lap around his desk, fists raised in the air.


	16. In which a coffee date is happening. Surprise, surprise.

Julian is terrified. Exhilarated but terrified. What’s gonna happen? Where is this thing going? Frank feels like such an enigma all the time. He doesn’t know what makes him feel like this about the man. His grumpiness and his inflated ego aren’t really a turn on. Then he remembers the quiet acceptance with his embarrassing bathroom story. The night of the massacre and sharing that weight about witnessing horror with powerless despair. The amazing bike ride that opened the Pandora’s Box of his attraction. And the date…

He’s gonna embarrass himself. He’s gonna talk too much. He’s not gonna be able to say a word. What does Frank see in him anyway? Kill him now. He gives up about smoothing his hair and his clothes and makes his way to the coffee shop.

Frank is already inside. Sitting alone in a corner with a tablet in his hand. He’s got his black fitting jeans that show off his long legs and a white and grey jumper with a high collar. He looks nice. Fuck, Julian feels his knees turn into jelly. He goes to sit down with him before he just collapses in a puddle in the middle of the shop.

-Hi!

-Hello again, we saw each over this morning.

-Sorry, yes. Of course. Hi again!

Julian is already mortified and Frank got his trademark smirk on his face. Not that different from their everyday chat. But Frank turns his smile softer.

-You alright?

-Yeah sorry. I’m nervous.

-About?

-About you? About us? You don’t really know me and we never really talked about…Me being transgender.

Julian swallows but stands his ground, searching Frank’s face for signs of indecision, or reluctance, or worse. Frank doesn’t look away.

-You remember our talk about other people being stupid?

-About them making me disappear if I don’t stand my ground?

Frank makes a disapproving sound. He’s so intense sometimes.

-Yes, don’t let people dictate your life or put labels or whatever. You’re you.

-Hum, OK but what about you?

-What about me?

Frank seems so surprised. Like he didn’t think about it. Like it’s already them together against the rest of the world. Julian smiles fondly, that idiot! He really didn’t consider it at all! Frank is still looking confused.

-I’m not sure? Is it a question about… _compatibility_? Or you’re asking if it bothers me but I don’t really understand in what way?

-Never mind. You’re right. I’m me. You’re you. The grumpy one I agreed to go on a date with…

Julian grins fully and the serious atmosphere is lifted. Frank takes his innocent air of the falsely accused but he’s fighting a smile.

-Hey! If you’re not grateful enough, I don’t know if I’ll pay for your coffee.

-I knew it, you’re a little bit of a skinflint! I’m taking an expensive one just because!

-You’re a brat. Next date is on you.

-You’re so full of yourself. You sure there will be a next date?

The smirk comes back with a vengeance. Frank takes a moment to look at him, appreciative.

-There will be.


End file.
